"Rest of the World 2013-14" story # 57

THE WORLD'S BEST
Analyzing the World           September 27, 2014

Holy cow! I was writing a lot of lists these days!
     I seemed to be vomiting them up at a rate of about one or two lists per story recently. I needed to get them all out of me. I needed to eat the leaves of a poisonous olive tree which the Surma people ate when they wanted to vomit.
     "Munch, munch, munch." (Eating leaves, eating leaves.)
     Ooh! I suddenly didn't feel so good. Now, it was time for me to get all of my lists out, at once.
     The following lists were the result of fifteen years of traveling, seventy-one countries visited, and my twenty-five "thrumps" ...

Part I: Top Countries

BEST FOOD
1. China
2. France
3. Turkey
4. Czech Republic
5. Greece

BEST ARCHITECTURE
1. France
2. Spain
3. England
4. Italy
5. Morocco

BEST NATURE
1. Samoa
2. Australia
3. Argentina
4. U.S.A.
5. Canada
HM: Chile

MOST HOSPITABLE
1. Turkey
2. Tunisia
3. Senegal
4. Russia
5. South Africa
HM: Samoa, Iceland, Armenia

LEAST HOSPITABLE
1. Malta

BEST HITCHHIKING
1. Samoa
2. Iceland
3. Turkey
4. England
5. Israel
HM: Lesotho

WORST HITCHHIKING
1. Italy
2. Senegal
3. Spain

MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
1. Argentina
2. Iceland
3. France
4. Ukraine
5. Ethiopia

MOST CHARISMATIC MEN
1. Israel
2. Argentina
3. Spain
4. Lesotho
5. Turkey

BEST WOMEN - with "personality" in consideration
1. Russia
2. Sub-Saharan Africa (excluding Ethiopia)
3. Brazil
4. Colombia
5. Southeast Asia

BEST DRESSED PEOPLE
1. Surma Tribe
2. Tibet
3. Senegal
4. Morocco
5. Laos
HM: Fiji

BEST PLACES TO DANCE
1. U.S.A.
2. Venezuela
3. Czech Republic
4. Senegal
5. Brazil

DRUNKEST PEOPLE
1. Georgia
2. Czech Republic

"THRUMPS" I LEARNED THE MOST FROM
1. Siberia
2. Archipelago of the Bijagos, Guinea-Bissau
3. Israel

COUNTRIES I FELL IN LOVE WITH
Colombia and Laos

POSSIBLE FUTURE "THRUMPS"???
1. Cuba
2. Quechua-Speaking Lands of South America
3. India
4. Tibet
5. Samoa

Part II: Cities and Places

BEST BEACHES
1. Ft. DeSoto, Florida
2. Jericoacoara, Brazil
3. North Bar Lake, Michigan
4. Byron Bay, Australia
5. Bruce, Guinea-Bissau
HM: Natandola, Fiji

MOST BEAUTIFUL ROADS
1. Sherxu to Kangding, Szechuan Tibet
2. Bariloche to El Bolson, Argentina
3. Eastern Coastal Road, Tobago
4. Parpignan, France to the Andorran Border
5. Beartooth Mountain Scenic Highway, Montana
HM: North Shore of Lake Superior, Canada; Ardahan to Hopa, Turkey

MOST BEAUTIFUL CITIES
1. Chernivtsi, Ukraine
2. Coimbra, Portugal
3. Cuenca, Spain
4. Dali, China
5. Paris, France
6. Prague, Czech Republic
7. Aix-en-Provence, France
8. Olomouc, Czech Republic
9. Liege, Belgium
10. Graz, Austria
HM: Palermo, Italy

BEST PLACES TO LIVE
(Of all the lists I could make about my travels, this was probably the most important. But, due to the fragility of these places and the tendency of modern man to commercialize and ruin any place he could, I wouldn't name these wonderful places but only give hints.)
1. an island in Oceania
2. an Asian mountain range
3. an Asian plateau
4. a North American island
5. an African island
6. a touristy Asian town
7. a coastal town in Oceania
8. a coastal city in Oceania
9. an interior South American city
10. a South American coastal village
HM: a farming village in Europe; a North American city

Part III: Other

FAVORITE LANGUAGES TO SPEAK
1. French
2. Czech
3. Surichen
4. Bijago
5. Italian
HM: Brazilian Portuguese

MOST DIFFICULT LANGUAGES
1. Chinese
2. Czech

FAVORITE NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING MUSICIANS
1. Soda Stereo (Argentina)
2. DDT (Russia)
3. Band whose Name I Didn't Know (Laos)
4. Selif Keita (Mali)
5. Los Prisioneros (Chile)
HM: Super Mama Djambo (Guinea-Bissau), Justino Delgado (Guinea-Bissau), Duman (Turkey), Priessnitz (Czech Republic), Los Fabulosos Cadillacs (Argentina)

WORLD'S BEST SONG?
"Eto Vse" by DDT

FAVORITE BOOK
"Netochka Nezvanaya" by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

FAVORITE GENERAL EXPERIENCES
1. Reading Russian Writers in Russian
2. Snorkeling in Oceania
3. Touring the Archipelago of the Bijagos by Boat
4. Traveling by Boat on the Amazon River
5. Conversing with Intelligent Russian Women
6. Dancing in South America
7. Going on South African Safaris
8. Seeing the Surma Tribe
9. Visiting the Altai Mountains
10. Hitchhiking across the Sahara

FAVORITE PERSONAL EXPERIENCES
1. Writing "Modern Oddyseus' Travel Annals"
2. Hanging out with my Three Russian Girlfriends Simultaneously
3. Playing in the Rymarov Basketball League
4. Being Adopted by a Tunisian Family
5. Traveling across Canada with Three Friends
HM: Entering Russia Illegally; Volunteering with the Crocodile Hunter

Whew! It was good to get all of that out of me.
     Ooh. Wait. There was one more ...

LONGEST RIDES
1. Roma Mesigin - Tomsk, Siberia to European Russia - 2500 km
2. Viktor - Ural Mountains to Tomsk - 2000 km
3. Mike - from Sault Ste. Marie to Kenora, Ontario - 1200 km
4. Mamadou Mbengue & Seri - Dakhla, Morocco to the Senegalese Border - 1200 km
5. Klaus Menck & Lazarus - Clanwilliam, South Africa to Mariental, Namibia & to Solitaire, Namiba - 1071 km

Aah. No more lists left inside of me. Now, I felt better.

peace,
Modern Oddyseus


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